


30 Reasons to Say I Love You

by redandblueispurple



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 30 reasons to say I love you, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Castiel is a Little Shit, Castiel is a Sweetheart, Cheerleader Castiel, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Dyslexic Dean Winchester, Emotionally Repressed Dean Winchester, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Highschool AU, I'M WEAK SO NOW CAS IS A CHEERLEADER, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Michifer - Freeform, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Castiel, Repressed Feelings, Sabriel - Freeform, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Slow Build Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Trans Charlie Bradbury, Trans Female Character, Trans Gabriel (Supernatural), Trans Male Character, YOU WILL RIP TRANS CHARLIE BRADBURY FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS, art student Dean Winchester, don't you just love a gay disaster, slow build adamandriel, two slowburn one QUICK QUICK QUICK
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-11 13:16:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15973082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redandblueispurple/pseuds/redandblueispurple
Summary: The Winchesters move into yet another new town. The first ones they meet? The Novaks. This is a story of repressed feelings and lots of jumping forward between events in the time they know each other. These are the reasons that, eventually, they fell for each other. Some fell faster, and some fell slower. Some were outright idiots and assumed their infatuation was purely platonic. However it happened, somehow in the end the universe saw fit to allow these idiots to wander the same path, whether or not it was a good choice is irrelevant.





	30 Reasons to Say I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are blue eyes, emotionally distant giants, and nervous rule followers in formal attire.
> 
> or
> 
> Dean's in a bi panic, Gabe is extremely patient and understanding, and Lucifer finds out the hard way that his cute new coworker is the manager's brother.

**Dean's P.O.V**

"Rise and shine Sam!"

I weave my way through the sea of opened moving boxes and the contents surrounding some of them to open the curtains to let sun beams stream through. The only response was a grunt before he rolled over and pulled the blanket up higher, I grabbed the blanket from the bottom and yanked it off of him. He yelped and fell from the bed in attempt to grab the blanket.

I chuckled before throwing the only outfit he'd unpacked at him. "Get dressed, Sammy. First day of school!"

Downstairs I make breakfast as I wait on Sam, who, to my dismay, hit his growth spurt not too long ago. So now I, a senior, am now shorter than my sophomore brother. Though that's not important now, its not like I'm bitter or anything. Not bitter at all.

A few minutes after I finish making breakfast, Sam comes down stairs wearing jeans, a black shirt, and an open short sleeve button up over it. He also has on a beanie. "Hey Dean?"

I turn after setting his plate on the breakfast bar. "Yeah, Sammy?"

He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "Could you help me cuff these sleeves?"

I smile and nod before going over to help with the sleeves. After I fix them up, I pat his back. "You're making me feel underdressed," I laugh. "Come eat before we leave. I fixed your favorite."

He grins and sits down. "Eggs and bacon with toast hardly counts as a favorite, Dean."

"Ah yes, but, I've got your favorite peach jelly for the toast." I smirked as I held up the mason jar.

He snatched the jar. "Ellen made more peach jelly?"

"Yep, she came over with a couple jars before you woke up this morning."

 

After he ate we got all of our stuff together and Sam walked to the door. "Come on, Dean. We're going to be late."

I follow after him, rambling. "I'm not the one who had to unpack an entire box before deciding on an outfit, Sam."

We got into the car before he answered, "It's not my fault my anxieties make me hyper aware of the fact that if I want anyone to be even slightly civil with me then I must dress according to the social standards of our judgmental society." He opened his book, as though he didn't just say some deep ass shit that should not be said at 7 in the fucking morning.

 

After a car ride of loud music and no talking, we pull into the parking lot. Sam and I get out, I open my phone to check for texts.

 

**Micheal: he Dean, try not to get suspended first day again k? lmao see you later I already managed to get a job at some cafe, smh you're slacking**

_Dean: asklndfnjgnj_ **  
**

_Dean: jesus_

_Dean: that was one time get over it we've been over this_

**Micheal: Yeah, yeah. He had it coming jfc this isn't goddamn Chicago Dean**

**Micheal: Stop being so gay**

_Dean: says you_

_Dean: Also_

_Dean: *bi_

**Micheal: ,,,**

**Micheal: fair enough**

**Micheal: get to class asshole**

_Dean: rude_

_Dean: I'm telling Charlie on you_

**Micheal: wait no**

**Micheal: she's my boss now too she has too much power for you to do that**

**Micheal: earlier I meant to say Good luck at school! Bring home a mans!**

_Dean: Yes I'm sure_

_Dean: bye micheal good luck with worky stuff_

I put my phone away as we reach the office. The lady there looked up and smiled at us before putting down her clip board. "Hi there. I'm Ms. Naomi. You too must be the new kids I was told about." She looked at the clipboard before looking back at us. "Sam." she looked at Sam. "And Dean. The pictures from your last student IDs are here, but feel free to join the rest of the students to get new pictures taken if you'd like." She pulled two sheets of paper from a small stack. "Here are your schedules, I'll have a couple of students show you around." 

She looked at the sea of students before her eyes flickered recognition. "Castiel! Gabriel! Please come here."

A guy wearing a crop top over a white shirt tucked into white washed jeans walked over. He was rolling his eyes and whisper yelling at a guy wearing darker jeans and an orange henley. They stopped bickering when they got up to us, crop top smiled brightly at Ms. Naomi. "Ms. Naomi, whatever Gabe has done this time, I assure you we are both incredibly sorry and will gladly pay for any damages." The next thing he said was through clenched teeth. " _Isn't that right, Gabriel?_  "

He elbowed Gabriel and got a sigh in return. "Yes Ms. Naomi. Even though I haven't done anything, I am incredibly sorry."

Fuck. His eyes? So blue? Like? Bluer than blue? Dark hair and blue eyes? Yes ma'am.

Ms. Naomi wore a calculated smile. "Actually Castiel, Gabriel hasn't done anything wrong this time. I was just hoping you two would show these two around."

Castiel shot Gabriel an apologetic look before nodding at Ms. Naomi. "Yes ma'am." He turned towards me with a warm smile. "Welcome to Hartville High, home of the Hartville Devil Dogs. I'm Castiel, its a pleasure to meet you..."

"Dean." I returned the smile. "Dean Winchester."

"Sorry Dean just, one second?" He swatted Gabriel who was gawking up at my brother. " _Gabriel"_ He hissed. " _Don't be rude."_

Gabriel looked at his brother with wide eyes, I couldn't help but listen in. "Look at him," he whispered "He's like fucking Hercules"

"Compare him to Greek deities later, Gabe." Castiel said this part out loud to embarrass the younger one. "Right now just," he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know. Take Sam to the library."

Sam, being the oblivious child he is, was just staring off into space the hole time, not looking up until he was being dragged by Gabriel.

Castiel turned back to me, smiling apologetically. "Can you believe he still believes himself straight?"

I chuckled. "You're telling me he believed that was a completely platonic, heterosexual comment?"

He snorted before taking my schedule from me. "Right?" he studied my schedule for a few seconds. "Looks like the only classes we don't have together are second fourth and seventh. AP Trig, remedial English, and art for you." he looked up at me, impressed. "An artist and you're good at math? Oh be still my beating heart." he joked.

"I don't know, English obviously still kicks my ass." I smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of my neck.

He made a motion like he was dismissing my statement. "English is an assbutt Dean. Don't worry about it. If you ever need help come to me, teachers here are shit, especially the ones who do remedial. Gabe was in remedial classes, but he wasn't getting the help he really needed so we worked our asses off together, him cramming for every test and using the coping skills recommended and me bitching a fit until they agreed to try him for regular classes again."

My grin deepened as I nodded. "What kind of insult is assbutt?"

He smirked. "The best kind, Dean. The best kind." he started walking. "You have art when I have cheer, I'll gladly walk you to the art studio since its on the way to cheer in the afternoons."

A cheerleader? A fucking cheerleader? Micheal isn't going to believe this. "A cheerleader and knows how to read correctly? Oh be still my beating heart." I smirked at him.

He smacked me and rolled his eyes. "Head cheerleader..." he muttered

Of course.

It was quiet for a few moments and I took the chance to take out my phone and text Micheal.

_Dean: miCHEAL_

_Dean: HALP_

**Micheal: hOLY SHIT IS EVERYTHING OKAY DID SOMEONE TAKE SAM DID YOU DIE**

_Dean: depends on your definition of take for the first thing tbh lmao_

_Dean: as for the last thing, yES_

**Micheal: ...**

**Micheal: cute boy**

**Micheal: ?**

_Dean: yup_

**Micheal: football player?**

_Dean: ... uh_

_Dean: Cheerleader this time actually_

**Micheal: of course**

**Micheal: he any good**

_Dean: I assume so_

_Dean: he's head cheerleader_

**Micheal: god you're such a bi disaster**

_Dean: i mean_

_Dean: it's not like i /like/ him_

_Dean: he's just unfairly pretty_

_Dean: and he's showing me around the school asfdgjk_

**Micheal: then shut up talking to me and make your life a film trope**

_Dean: I know when I'm not wanted smh_

_Dean: See you later_

 

 

"You should come watch me cheer at the game Friday. It'll be fun. You and Sam can come with me and the rest of the cheerleaders to The Slicery afterwards. Gabe and his friends usually show up too so Sam should have an alternative if he doesn't feel like hanging with us, though obviously he's welcome to." We turned a corner and a girl smiled and waved at Castiel, which he gladly returned.

"You don't know me, why are you being so nice?" I frowned.

He turned his head to me with a warm smile. "Maybe I want to know you, yeah? Maybe I could use some better friends, and maybe you seem like the obvious choice so far."

I don't know why, but a certain twinkle in his eyes made me really want to believe him.

 

** Lucifer's P.O.V **

Today I'm stuck training the new guy, though its lost on me why exactly he needs training. Its a job at a cafe, not a career in biochemical engineering. While I'm sulking the door opens, but I refuse to look up, since its probably just a customer and I just got off break. However when a smooth deep voice with the slightest hint of a southern drawl says, "Uh hey. I'm Micheal, I'm s'posed to start work here today. Charlie said someone named Lucifer is gonna train me?" I immediately look up. His dark hair is styled to where it's all parted to one side, though its a little messy. Presumably because of the motorcycle helmet that's tucked under his arm. He's dressed in skinny jeans and a button dow shirt. His shoes are vans. And his eyes, they were a deep gray, troubled like a storm.

"Oh, yeah that's me." I get up and walk over to him, taking the helmet from his hands. "I'll show you where you can keep this every day."

He walks with me over to a break room that no one uses. "We don't have much staff, and those who do work here usually take their break outside or just sit at one of the pub tables to chat. So naturally we keep our shit in the break room."

He nods before attempting to fix his hair. "Thanks."

I nod and smile before walking up to him and looking him in the eye. "So kid, you like to ride?"

His face went red and he started stammering. "I uh what?"

I smirked and nodded to the helmet sitting on the table. "Your helmet, you ride a motorcycle right?"

He coughed and readjusted his shirt. "Right. Yes. Of course, yeah I like to- I like riding my bike." I chuckled and looked at the ground.

I smile and pull my eyes back from the floor to his eyes. "What'd you think I meant, Mikey?"

 

Next thing I know I'm being literally flung from Micheal and Charlie is pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. "Micheal! Dear brother! I've missed you!"

Fuck. He's her brother?

He giggled and hugged her back, just as hard. "Charlie! I've missed you too!"

They pulled apart and grinned at each other. Charlie crossed over to me. "I see you've met Lucifer." She leaned up to my ear and whispered, " _Try and fuck and forget my brother and you're on dish duty for five months"_

I gulp before nodding, definitely getting her point.

Charlie grinned back at her brother. "Hopefully Satan here isn't too hard on you."

He shakes his head before letting a small smile overtake his face. "Don't worry sis, its nothing I can't handle."

She nods. "Alrighty, get to work then, if you need anything ask Lucifer and if he doesn't know come to me. District manager wants to talk to me for some reason."

She walks off, leaving Micheal and I on our own. We get to work, chatting quietly, me helping him with certain things he doesn't understand. Some of his answers to my questions were vague and were followed by very obvious deflecting.

As we're washing dishes I ask him one last question. "So, what's your deal? You're all mystery guy chic, come riding up on a motorcycle. Charlie's never talked about you. What happened where you were that made you want to get here so suddenly?"

He was quiet for a second, clenching and unclenching his jaw. "It was nothing. Anyways, I saw this post on tumblr, it was some girl trying to get a guy to hand over his knee caps and it was the best and most unsettling thing I've seen in a while."

He had a smile on his face, but in his eyes?

_The storm raged on._

 

** Gabe's P.O,V **

 

I lead Sam to the library, having to pull him along the entire way. It's not that he's refusing to go with me, he just kinda lets his mind wander every now and then and would start drifting away if I didn't lead him. I pointed out some of his classes along the way, but he just nodded and didn't even look. He was worrying his bottom lip, eyes glazed over. I squeezed his wrist that I was leading him by, snapping him out of whatever thoughts had been strolling through his mind. He looked startled, almost like he'd forgotten where he was. With an apologetic look as we walked into the library, I said, "Disassociation is a bitch, huh?"

He just nods curtly, zoning off again before long. We sit in the armchairs across from the graphic novels, Sam pulls out a book and curls up in the chair, but doesn't seem to be able to focus. Sighs of exasperation come from him as he has to reread what he'd read before after zoning out. He was obviously frustrated, so I try and make conversation. "Do you like to read?"

He looks up and nods, a small smile twitching on his face. 

I grin in return, "That's cool. I'm kinda stupid, not good at reading really, but I love stories."

"You aren't stupid." then he's quiet for a few moments, continuously chewing lightly on the inside of his bottom lip until he responds further. "What kind of stories?" His voice was soft and smooth like caramel.

I hum as I think. "I've always been a sucker for romance, and fantasy. Mysteries are cool, and classics are really good. When I was in the fifth grade Cassie used to read me The Great Gatsby when I was anxious or frustrated."

Sam smiles a little, "Dean read me the Velveteen Rabbit. Still does, even though he doesn't like reading." his smile fades as quickly as it appeared, settling back into a neutral expression.

I nod at his worn, coverless book. "What are you reading, if you don't mind my asking?"

He closes it and shows me the spine. "A Tale of Two Cities."

I tilt my head, "Charles Dickens right?"

He nods, "Yeah."

"Is it a good story?" I raise my eyebrow.

He smiles at me, and this time it stays longer. "I happen to think so, you wanna find out?"

I grin and nod. "Yeah, read to me?"

He nods and stands up, "Yeah lets move to the couch, so we aren't so loud we disturb anyone else."

We cross to the couch and have a seat, him sitting the way normal folk do, and I sit cross-legged facing him. He takes his bookmark out and turns to the first page before starting, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, It was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that none of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

I put a hand on his book to stop him from reading, "I like that, I don't know what exactly it means, but I like it."

Sam chuckled, "You aren't supposed to know exactly what it means, Gabriel. You're supposed to interpret it in your own way, no two people will understand it the same way. No one can know precisely what was going through Dickens mind when he write this, but we are free to interpret how we wish."

I nod before asking him, "What do you think it means?"

"I think it means that there is no one good or one evil, you can't get one without the other. Batman avenges his parents everyday, but does so by becoming a vigilante and attempting to kill many people. A religious man screaming and hatefully protesting a gay man receiving the same rights to love and life that he has is convinced he is doing what's expected to cleanse the Earth of what he thinks his God deemed unacceptable. There is no good or evil, only random people in random situations." He breathed a sigh before asking me, "What does it mean to you?"

I think for a moment, unsure. "I think it means that there will always be good, just like there will always be bad. There will always be ignorance right alongside acceptance. Everyone has it bad sometimes and you just have to look forward to the next period of light, and when its good savor it before the dark comes in."

Sam nodded and looked down at the book again, "I told you you weren't stupid, you can't be stupid and say something like that. Be intolerant of ignorance, but understanding of illiteracy. You're in no way illiterate, but you struggle with what our nation deems the important parts of life. According to people in power you may lack intelligence, but so long as you're able to make your own educated opinions, recognize prejudice when you see it, and are willing to learn from life and people around you, you have unlimited intelligence."

I smile at that, letting myself relax a little bit. "Maya Angelou."

"What?"

"My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors. Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. She's one my favorite people ever." I pulled out my copy of her complete collection of poems. It was well loved, to say the least. Corners of several pages were dog-eared, the pages had faded into an odd shade of yellow, droplets of unknown liquids dot random pages at random points, and not to be emo but some of those droplets were probably tear-drops. That's just how it is, I guess. Time, I mean. As time goes on things age, things that are well loved age faster with every use. "I got this when I was nine. Cassie got it for me." 

He nodded with a small smile on his face, and then we were quiet for a few seconds him zoning in and out, even beginning to chew on his bottom lip again. "Is disassociation a big problem for you, too?"

Sam snapped his eyes toward me, he nodded slightly.

"It sucks, huh? Feels like you're lost, sometimes."

He nodded, sighing soberly.

"I guess we'll have to try and find each other, huh?" I smile at him and stand, ready to show him around some more. I reach out my hand to help him up.

He smiled soberly, "Guess so." he took my hand and let me help him up.

He smiled a few times that day, but he always had tired eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic I originally posted on my Wattpad. It is not completely the same, I as the author made changes where I saw fit.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Its not the best, but I'm doing what I can!


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